In this week's portion, Avraham's servant asks Rebecca's family if they will approve her betrothal to Isaac saying, And now if you will deal kindly and truly with my master, tell me; and if not, tell me; that I may turn to the right hand, or to the left.' Then Laban and Bethuel answered and said: 'This matter comes from Gd; we cannot speak to you bad or good [about Rebecca]. (Genesis 24:49, 50) Why will Rebecca's family not speak of her good qualities? The Chatam Sofer explains that a spouse, עזר כנגדו, is supposed to be someone who balances the other. If a man is generous and a spendthrift, the woman should be frugal in managing household expenses. Similarly, if the man is frugal and miserly the woman should be of generous spirit toward others and in purchases. In this way, says the Chatam Sofer, a couple will be the necessary partner in order to complete the other. Rebecca's family did not speak of her good qualities for fear of tainting the shidduch as they did not know the character of Isaac and whether Rebecca's qualities would be seen as a compliment to those of the future Patriarch.
